WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
