smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I think a kid would responsible me up
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
