It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize