i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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