We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I have fence marks all over my body
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
