fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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