He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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