I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
