Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
