Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
