I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
