So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
