I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
