The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
