Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
