That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize