Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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