we're blogging at a bar
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
