i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
