I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
