I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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