I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
