Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
