I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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