Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
