no, he came in my armpit
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize