:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
