If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He did a backflip because drugs
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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