So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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