Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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