Swine flu is the new snow day.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
