Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
