i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
