Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Boobs speak an international language.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
