Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize