he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize