direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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