I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
