I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
