That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
