You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
did you just send me my own nude
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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