My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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