i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
