Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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