Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
