this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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