I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
