His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
