She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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