Moan for me like Helen Keller
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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