mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
