That's when you crack a 10am beer
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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