Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize