I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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