On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
