I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
