You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i've created a new STD.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
