i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
