OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
