Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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