I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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