Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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