you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
