yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
