My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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