I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
