We're facebook friends in real life
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
